Have you noticed that since their heyday in the 1950s, the number of Rogers in captivity has steadily declined. There are thought to be less than 3000 Roger's left in New Zealand alone.

I think we need to turn this disturbing trend around. It's not too late. With your help we can save the Roger.

We need a local register of Rogers in your community, so if you are a Roger or you know someone named Roger please get them registered. We need to know what areas they live in, what their main diet consists of, and what condition they are in. Little is known about their actual courting and mating ritual, but it is believed to be similar to the ginger-haired in our communities.

New Parents - do your bit by naming your newborn boy or girl, Roger.

With ...

Ever wondered what use is a belly button? Ever sat there with your pinky wiggling around in your navel wondering "what's it all about"? Do you have an outtie or an innie?

Well fret no more - I have an explanation for the belly button.

I have concluded (after many hours of navel gazing) that the belly button is a one-way valve. It is a safety release for when you burp and fart at the same time. Without it when you expelled gas from both ends the vacuum created in your intestines would be so great that you would implode.

This also explains why there is a build up of belly fluff found in most navels - a natural air filter!

Hope this helps clear things up - now you can move on with your lives.