THE PHOTOGRAPHER


posted on 30th of july, 2012

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good.. Did you know babies are my specialty?'



'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
© 5xinc (Help)


'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

Comments (33)

Posted by Celiaak on November 10, 2013
So so funny!
Posted by Grafoo on August 30, 2012
Really so funny! :D :D :D
Posted by Dmccale on August 24, 2012
LMAO
Posted by Grafvision on August 08, 2012
Excellent! thanks for sharing...:)
Posted by Diver721 on August 06, 2012
That was great! Thanks for sharing :)
Posted by Egomezta on August 05, 2012
Great joke, thanks for sharing.
Posted by Sanshams on August 04, 2012
Ha, ha!!! Very funny thanks.
Posted by Chimeandsense on August 03, 2012
You just have to smile at this, very good
Posted by Veryolive on August 03, 2012
Thanks for few minutes of loud free laugh! :D:D:D Excellent blog!
Posted by Razvanxr on August 03, 2012
:)))) Great story!!!
Posted by Maddrew on August 02, 2012
Priceless!!!
Posted by Mani33 on August 02, 2012
LOL
Posted by Jeniicorv8 on August 01, 2012
hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Posted by Picsbynic on August 01, 2012
Love it, very funny.
Posted by Inyrdreams on August 01, 2012
a good joke! I enjoyed! especially good with your added photos.. thanks!
Posted by Littlemacproductions on August 01, 2012
:D :D :D
Posted by Adeliepenguin on July 31, 2012
It felt so good to laugh so hard. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by Hanbaoluan on July 31, 2012
Very interesting!
Posted by Elifranssens on July 31, 2012
Do I need to be over 18 to enter this site??? Nobody told me... anyway, I am, so hahahahahaha....
Posted by Vcarmstrong on July 31, 2012
Hahahahaha! Awesome!
Posted by Peanutroaster on July 31, 2012
So good! Excellent!
Posted by Racheld32 on July 31, 2012
HAHA!! That is hilarious!
Posted by Karenfoleyphotography on July 31, 2012
Hilarious !! Well done, K-
Posted by Clearvista on July 31, 2012
Ha ha brilliant-well done - big smile here :)
Posted by FabioConcetta on July 31, 2012
Very funny blog,well done ^_^
Posted by Lagron49 on July 30, 2012
A joke for the ages. Equally funny for film or digital users or abusers...I laughed so hard I nearly brought on an asthma attack.
Posted by Psmpics on July 30, 2012
By far the most refreshingly original blog I've read here! Well done.
Posted by Kphotos6411 on July 30, 2012
ha, ha. You have a delightful sense of humor.
Posted by Androniques on July 30, 2012
LOL, When is the next episode to be released? :)
Posted by Solidsdman on July 30, 2012
Very funny

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Comments (33)

This article has been read 1939 times. 2 readers have found this article useful.
Photo credits: Ints Vikmanis, Anatoliy Samara, Billyfoto, Yuri_arcurs.

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I just can\'t leave well enough alone!

(Littlemacproductions)
Deerfield Beach, US

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