1. A photographer took a self portrait in a park.
Due to lighting conditions he used the built in flash on the camera.
He quickly got arrested for flashing and exposing himself in the park.
"Come into the darkroom and we'll see what develops."
3. A french friend was impressed by my portraits. "How do you get them to look so happy?" she asked. I told her that the secret was to ask people to say 'cheese'.
A few weeks later she phoned me up, very disappointed. "All my photos show people snarling!" she complained, "even though I took your advice and asked them to say 'fromage'."