As I was sitting around the other day waiting for my images to upload
I started to daydream.
I was thinking about my favorite childhood fairy tales when I began to wonder .....
What would happen if Fairy Tales had their own newspaper?
A Fairy Tale Tabloid so to speak.
As with many of my “bright ideas”, the thought began to build upon itself.
I mean, what would that really look like ……….
FLAXEN HAIRED INTRUDER NABBED
Bears Speak Out
“It’s just a darn shame you can’t leave your den unlocked anymore,” stated Papa Bear. “This used to be such a safe forest.”
“You should have seen the mess she left,” bemoaned Mama Bear. “I keep a clean house.”
“I keep having nightmares she’s standing over me saying ‘Oh ….. you’re just right,’” trembled Baby Bear.
Cleaning Girl Arrested for Impersonation (and Pumpkin Theft)
Secret Service are investigating an apparent gate crashing incident at the Palace last evening.
A woman identified only as Cinderella managed to gain entrance to the Castle without an invitation – even dancing with Prince Charming at one point.
“I didn’t break any laws,” Cinderella is quoted as saying upon her arrest. “I was just auditioning for my own Reality TV Show.”
Police are still searching for the Mice and Birds believed to be accomplices in the hoax.
PHISHING SCHEME ACTIVE
Do not respond to, and immediately contact police if you receive the following email message.
“Could you be the woman Prince Charming in seeking? We want to send you a no-obligation, free, trial Glass Slipper. If the shoe fits, you will be on you way to Matrimonial Bliss with the Prince – and stand to inherit MILLIONS. Live the life of luxury – send your name, address, id number, mothers maiden name, place of birth, email address, phone number, bank account information, twitter tag, pet names, and favorite color to receive your trial slipper today. Act Now! The Prince is Waiting”
SPCA INVESTIGATES ALLEGATIOINS OF POACHING
Red Claims Self Defense
Responding to mounting pressure from the general public – including pressure from PETA - The Society to Prevent Cruelty to Animals today launched an official investigation into poaching allegation against Little Red Riding Hood. While no one will ever know exactly what happened that night in the cabin in the forest, suspicion is growing that claims of self defense may be exaggerated.
“What was I supposed to do,” pleaded Red. “He already ate my Granny!”
HAMLIN SAGA CONTINUES
“Mr. Piper cannot be held responsible if children are drawn to his music. Where are the parents of these young hooligans?” says his lawyer.
In today’s twist, Mr. Piper filed a countersuit against the City of Hamlin for breach of contract seeking moneys owed him for the eradication of the town’s rat problems.
In a related story, Hamlin City Engineers are hard at work developing alternate solutions for future rodent infestations.
ARREST FOR RUDOLPH
Christmas Hangs in Balance
In a Christmas Eve bust, Rudolph – aka The Rednosed – Reindeer was stopped and arrested on suspicion of sleighing under the influence. At 12:01 am, Mr. Reindeer was seen visibly weaving through the clouds while pulling a sled full of children’s toys and a fat, jolly man who was sporting a red nose of his own.
Charges are pending awaiting results of the toxicology reports.
The status of Christmas is unknown at this time.
BUILDERS SHUT DOWN
Criminal Charges Expected
Today city inspectors, citing multiple housing code violations, shut down 3 Pigs Homes, Inc.
It appears that 2 of every 3 homes built by the swine trio failed the “Huff-N-Puff” test.
Existing homes will either need to be destroyed, or the owners must carry Big Bad Wolf insurance to meet FEMA guidelines.
Civil and criminal charges are expected.
None of the pigs involved would respond to questions at their residences.
MURDER, TRESPASSING, DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY
Self-Defense or Castle Laws – Witch is it?
Supporters of the juveniles identified only as Hansel and Gretel claim The Witch had held them against their will and was threatening physical harm to them before they killed her out of self-defense.
Family members of The Witch claim the pair were trespassing on the property – even EATING portions of it – and that she was clearly justified in her actions following existing Home Defense Castle Laws.
Proponents for both sides see long court battle ahead.
Today the International Institute for Wolf Studies filed a class action lawsuit against Mother Goose Enterprises, parent corporation of FTT, for slander and defamation of character against wolves.
“Mother Goose Enterprises has systematically and maliciously libeled the wolf community for year,” cited the Institutions SpokesWolf. “One needs look no further than Little Red Riding Hood, The 3 Little Pigs or The Boy Who Cried Wolf to see blatant examples of this injustice.”
Mother Goose was unavailable for comment.
Details of the lawsuit have not been made public.
GOLDEN EGGS CRACKING
International financial markets had their worst one day performance following reports The Golden Goose is no longer able to produce market worthy eggs.
“Everything she lays today ends up in omelets,” an anonymous source is cited as saying.
Okay, now it’s your turn. Fairy Tale Tabloids is in search of the best picture and story depicting YOUR favorite fairy tale. The entry that provides the most creative tabloid treatment to the tale will be purchased for up to 5 credits. Entries must be an accepted dreamstime image (not a member?Register Now).
Not available to employees of FTT, Mother Goose Enterprises or her subsidiaries. Void where prohibited. Decisions of the judges are final.